This is pretty old news by now, but I still wanted to make a comment about it.

A few months ago, the Labor Party (ALP) kicked out Prime Minister Kevin Rudd. He wasn’t pleasing all the party factions. Plus most people found him stiff, slick and boring. They replaced him with their second in command, Julia Gillard. This happens a lot ‘round these parts.

Anyways, Gillard is many things:

  1. A woman
  2. An atheist
  3. A redhead
  4. Welsh
  5. Has a hilarious accent
  6. Unmarried
  7. Co-habbing with her partner, a (male) hairdresser, and
  8. Childless

Take that, America! It amazes me how little discussion there was over points 2, 6 and 8; if anything, citizens were mostly disturbed by number 5. They are also obsessed with her (fabulous) hair.

In another quirk of the Australian political system, the leading party may name a date of their choosing for the next election.  There is no official voting day down under…  So would Julie call an early election, in order to catch the Liberal (ie., conservatives, “republican”*) party, and their jumbo-eared leader Tony Abbott off guard, or would she schedule it later in the year, in order to give Tony ample time to stumble? It wouldn’t be difficult, he’s not got mad debatin’ skillz. But he does look pretty good in a speedo, sooo…

Early election! Key phrase? Moving forward. Hey, that’s more syllables than “change”.

They (you know, them) rescheduled the one-and-only televised debate between Abbott and Gillard from its original airtime, because it conflicted with the season finale of MasterChef.  Australians don’t go to church, they have MasterChef.  And Celebrity Masterchef.  And Junior Masterchef.

To attempt a win, the Liberal party formed a coalition with the National Party of Australia (a semi-minor conservative farmers’/rural party). Labor won an equal number of votes to the conservative coalition, resulting in a hung parliament. Six crossbenchers (independents/minor party Members of Parliament) would break the tie.

It took over seven weeks to resolve the election. One of the major issues used as currency by the crossbenchers to decide where their allegiances lay was whether or not to upgrade the Australian intertubes to a high-speed national broadband system. OK, it was a bit deeper than that, but SEVEN FREAKING WEEKS of nail-biting cost-benefit analysis of Lolcats and Antoine Dodson… Furthermore, one of the conditions required by the crossbenchers siding with the ALP involved a promise from Labor to NOT fire and replace Gillard anytime soon – which I think really speaks to the frailty of a PM’s position, especially given the numerous spills in recent Australian state and federal history. It was scuttlebutt and backstabbing that put both Gillard and Abbott on their current thrones, and the independents clearly wanted no more of it.

Ultimately, Labor won a surplus of two votes to take the minority rule (four are required for an honest-to-goodness house majority). Which means that both parties are in power, although Gillard is, for lack of a better term, on top. It also means that it won’t take much for the majority to swing either way. A change in just two parliamentary seats (out of 150) could bring the whole country back into chaos again.

*by the by, I was recently informed that there IS indeed a Republican party in Australia; the biggest difference between it and the Liberal set is that the Libs still recognize the Queen as sovereign; the monarchy is not recognized by the Reps. But I couldn’t get Wikipedia to confirm this. However, I did find listed the “Democratic Liberal Party”, whose origins lie in Catholic, conservative, anti-Communist policy. Wonder how they feel about godless, childless, sinful gingers?

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